Saturday was a very emotional day for me as it meant saying goodbye (I hate that word - it should be replaced with 'until next time') to my dad after an amazing few weeks of quality time together. For those of you who don’t already know, my dad lives on the other side of the world with my step mum and two little brothers in Queensland, Australia. On the 4th July he touched down at Heathrow airport ready to embark on an exciting golf tour around some of the UK’s most famous courses in celebration of his 50th birthday. The last time I saw him was when I went over to visit in 2012 so its safe to say that after two years, I was very excited for his arrival. He was joined by two of his Aussie friends and I've spent the past few weeks dashing all over the place to meet up with him. I’ve visited some absoloutely beautiful cities, had moments I’ll never forget and I couldn’t have wished for a more perfect way to spend time with my dad. I’ve not laughed as much as I have these past few weeks in a very long time and being so busy has really helped get my anxiety under control. However, as with all good things, they unfortunately have to come to an end.
Now the fun is over and I’ve said a seriously hard 'until next time' (lots of tears were shed over a burrito), I have to be honest, I’m feeling pretty down in the dumps! I’m not wanting to sound like a negative nelly by writing this post – I really just want to see if any of you guys can relate to this awful feeling of emptiness I'm experiencing? Going ‘back to reality’ so to speak is always really difficult – I’m sure you’ve all experienced holiday blues yourself and it’s just part and parcel of life but that doesn’t make snapping back to normality any less difficult.
For me personally, having things to look forward to is such an important part of leading a fulfilled and happy life and although I’m sure there’ll be lots more exciting plans popping up throughout the rest of the year, I still can’t help feeling a little drained. When you’ve spent a good twelve months looking forward to something and then it’s all over in what seems like the blink of an eye, it’s hard not to, you know? I’m the kind of person that's a total planner - I like to have plans at all times – even if its silly little things like what I’ll be eating for dinner this evening or what I'm going to do when I get home from work. In a way, having something to focus on, work towards or look forward to is very comforting for me. Its almost like my security blanket as the unknown is a very scary place and it’s that feeling of not being secure and in control of my life that triggers most of my anxiety attacks. I know there's some things that just cannot be controlled (again, another huge anxiety trigger) and what I'm saying probably makes me sound like a complete control freak but it’s just my way of trying to stay positive – even if that means having something really small to look forward to each day. It keeps me happy and prevents me from spiralling into irrational worry cycles.
I don't want to ramble on too much as this is a very spur of the moment post but sometimes I like to write about day to day life and the feelings I'm sure we all experience from time to time so I’m hoping some of you can relate to what I’m saying. To summarise this not very well thought out post - I’ve had the best month EVER and for that I’m exceptionally grateful. I’ve got the best family and friends a girl could ask for and I've made memories that will last a lifetime. I’m just also really sad it’s all over. Hopefully it won’t be too long until I see my dad again and before I have more exciting plans in place but until then, I’m going to try my best to plan something positive each and every day whether that’s making my favourite meal, spending some quality time with my boyfriend, watching my favourite movie, having a pamper night or writing random posts like this on my blog. I don't think I ever truly realised before now how important having plans are to me and without them how lost I'd feel.
Have you ever felt like this after something you’ve looked forward to has come to an end? If so, I’d love to hear your tips on how you boost your mood and get back to normality.
Lots of love,
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