Friendship.. Why so much Drama?

This post is a very 'reflective' one. I am currently sat at home in my PJ's and dressing gown and having a little 'moment'. This isn't beauty/fashion related in the slightest so if you don't want to read me blabbering on, stop now. However, it is regarding something I think a lot of  you lovely ladies can relate too. Basically, I 'fell out' with one of my best friends a few months ago. I hate the term 'fell out' as it sounds so childish, but how else can I explain it? I'm not going to go into details but basically the fallout came about over something very silly and superficial. To be honest, I thought we would sort it out as we were such good friends. We have had tiffs in the past and always resolved them. This particular friend and I were very similar. We both loved fashion, make-up, fake tan and we always had a lot in common which is why we got along so well. However, it seemed we used to have silly little arguments over pretty much nothing. This basically came to blows and she decided to stop speaking to me full-stop. Now I'm thinking being too similar is probably a bad thing as it means our personalities sometimes clashed.


Anyway, I have been racking my brain lately thinking 'where did it all go wrong?'. This girl was a part of  my life for the past five years and although I have lots of friends, I spent a lot of my time with her. Every picture album I look in, she's there. My laptop is full of pictures from good times we had together and social networking sites are full of memories. Everywhere I look there are constant reminders. I am pretty gutted about our 'fall out' and the fact we haven't spoke in 2 and a half months. It's crazy how time can change EVERYTHING. It was only a couple of years ago we spent Christmas exchanging gifts, dancing around my bedroom to Alexandra Burke, dolling ourselves up, drinking blue WKD and going out on the town. I know life doesn't always go as you planned but I am such an emotional person and to me, this is really sad. We didn't even wish each other a 'Happy Christmas' this year and it just felt odd.

I don't really know how to feel about the whole situation if I'm honest. I find myself sitting here and thinking 'I wish I could tell her about this or that'. When I think like this, I get upset and find myself thinking WHY? On the other hand, the reason we fell out was so silly and my other friends tell me that a 'real' friend wouldn't have 'fallen out' with me over something so minor. I definitely think this is true so I then start resenting my 'ex-friend' and thinking, how could you disown me as a friend when I have been there for you for all these years? I consider myself a loyal, honest friend and if she ever needed something, I was there. So now she has 'ditched' me, I feel massively stabbed in the back. I think my honesty didn't do me any favours at times and I can sometimes speak my mind too much. It gets me in trouble but I prefer to be open with my friends than bottle things up.


Anyway, sorry to ramble. This is probably the most depressing post in the history of Blogger and I promise it won't become a regular thing. I have read a few posts on here from girls who have addressed various 'issues' they are having and the support from other bloggers has always been amazing. I write this blog about my passion for beauty but also to meet new people who I can relate to and who can relate to me. Yes, life does go on after 'falling out' with a close friend and I have got an amazing group of friends who will always be there for me but at the same time I feel like life is too short for silly fall-outs with someone I considered a close friend. I am 21 after all and would like to think the friends I have now will be my friends for life.  

Have any of you been through a similar situation with a friend? What would you do? I don't know whether I should just let it go or try to re-kindle the friendship? It certainly seems like she has no interest in being my friend, in which case she has obviously never been a real friend but I still feel I need some questions answering before I can let it go?

On a brighter note guys, me and my friend went shopping today and I finally got myself some Estee Lauder 'Doublewear' so expect a lengthy review very soon.

Lots of Love,

Kayleigh..

xXx.